When Virginia was a newborn, I would literally lay face down on the floor next to her bassinet and beg for complete healing. Then I would move to my knees, draping my arms over the whicker edge of her little nest so that I could see her face, and continue to ask God for His mercy on our sweet baby. And every morning I would wake up (and many times in between as well) to find that Virginia was the same. Still arching her back. Still no head control. Still essentially crying all the time.
At some point, I quit asking for total healing. Not because I didn't desire it, but because I was becoming very bitter over God's refusal to restore Virginia to health. Every morning I would wake up full of anger over the fact that nothing had changed.
Gradually God has opened my eyes to the bigger picture in life, but it has taken time. Sometimes you have to be willing to look for His hand in order to be able to see it.
We had a lot of fun last night at our neighborhood Halloween party. It would have been very easy for me to be sad last night watching Virginia in her wheelchair, unable to talk with her friends, unable to eat the food, unable to jump in the moonwalk. But instead, God opened my eyes to some of the good things He has done for Virginia.
Virginia loves life. She is surrounded by little girls in our community who love her, and do their best to include her. Findley and I are surrounded by friends who do their best to help carry our burden. They build wheelchair ramps at their houses and give Virginia special Halloween happies because they know she can't eat most of the candy.
Sometimes it is still lonely. It is definitely a hard road for Virginia and for us. But each day, I am able to see more of the gifts that God gives us. They don't exactly like what I once dreamed they would, but if I look closely, I am surrounded by them.
On Saturday, we drove to a park about thirty minutes from our house. We were in need of a major change of scenery and it worked!