But would you really change anything anyway?

I have started many posts, but haven't finished one. I just don't have much free time right now. I wish I were writing more, but I am happy, so I'm not going to worry too much about it.

I am going to keep this short and sweet, so maybe I will actually finish it.

Years ago I was complaining to Mom. "I can't do this anymore. It's too hard."

"Well, do you want me to come get Virginia? Dad and I could take her for a few months. Give you a break."

"Of course not," I said, absolutely horrified at the thought.

"But if you really are serious, if you really can't do this anymore, then we need to think about what your options are," she added.

"I guess I'm not serious," I said. "Or what I really mean is, I don't want to do this. Not I can't do this."

We have had a long few weeks. No one's been deathly ill, but we are all tired. The same tired that all my friends are right now. No one's kids are sleeping, everyone's tired from vacation or too much pool time, you name it. Just the overall pace of life seems to be beating everyone down. First world problems, as my friend Molly says. {Molly and her family are in the midst of some real battles right now and would appreciate all the prayers they can get.}

We are doing some renovating to our house (I know, I should have learned last time), it is so hot outside, and I am tired of loading Virginia in and out of the car to take Wills to basketball camp or spending 45 minutes packing to go to the pool so we can swim for an hour.

But you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. Yes, I would go back in time and have Virginia delivered at a different hospital with a different doctor, but that's not an option. One day, there aren't going to be legos and dominoes on my den floor and markers all over the kitchen table. I'm not to have to drag Wills and Eliza with me when Virginia has a neurologist appointment. And when that time comes, I have no doubt I will miss these crazy days. Nobody wants to be sitting on the beach all the time, enjoying a fruity beverage and reading a great book. Occasionally, sure, but not all the time.

I seem to be holding my breath for a time when all tasks are complete- when there are no more doctor's appointments to be made, when all the bills are paid, when I've had ample time to spend with everyone I love, when work exceeds all Findley's expectations, & when there is nothing left in the ironing basket. But that day will never come. Life tends to move from one storm to another and really we are just seeking to maintain some kind of equilibrium throughout.

Since I've been writing this, I've had to go in Virginia's room and reposition her five times, She can't get comfortable, she's fussy. It's annoying. I don't want to get up off the couch. But would I rather someone else do it? Absolutely not. Would I rather Virginia not be in my life? Of course not.

So I am going to quit telling Findley every night how hard the day was. Or that something has to give because I can't keep this pace up. Because the truth is that I can, and when I am honest, I realize that I wouldn't have it any other way.


Just a few pictures. Wish I could put a brick on all three of their heads. Why didn't anyone ever tell me how fast time moves??

Aunt Nicole made Eliza a new dress, and she is so proud,

Findley (& co) are building a serious tree house. We've had a few 'requests for clarification' from the architectural review board, but we are moving ahead,

At the lake in North Carolina,

 This girl loves a waterfall,

I am seriously trying to figure out how to build one in the yard. Maybe flowing off the tree house? And she's getting really tall!

And as I was looking back through pictures, I realized when the tiredness started. During the playoffs. By the way, the NBA is really fun and we love going to Grizzlies games. The problem is, we would get home around 12:30 and Virginia would still wake up at 5:30. It was worth it, I think,